Mga Gawa Ko

Happy...?

2006-08-11T11:42:00.000+08:00

i'm happy...

not because of someone else...

not because of peace of mind...

not because of things i bought...

not even of the nice & funny story i read...

nor the chocolates i ate..

i'm happy...

because you wanted me to...

but you don't know that, do you?...

*** composed on August 11, 2006. just now when i was reading & posting at PBA forum, i stumbled on this thread "CONFESSIONS: CRY YOUR HEARTS OUT..." when these words materialized in my mind just like that! and they kept pouring out as i typed... ddktd to someone special...

Dark Side of Me (First Love, Rebel, Angst - Yr.1995)

2006-06-16T10:47:00.000+08:00

okei, before i continue.. i would like to warn you guys that some of the poems here contained some offensive words. if you can't take it, you may skip this part. i was 17 when i composed these poems.. 1995: the time i met my first love and also the time i rebelled... so please excuse the use of such language. i was just full of angst that time.

"Give Me A Shot"

A shot of "MP"

A puff of smoke

Boy, how i like it

And this ain't a joke!

The burning sensation

through your stomach pit

Makes you laugh &

At the same time cry a bit!

When you're shivering

don't hesitate

Just take a bit of this

or have a taste...

All your problems

will vanished for awhile

and after a moment,

it'll make you smile =)

A shot of MP

A puff of smoke

Hey! wait! this ain't a dope

I don't take a coke!

This makes you swirl

Or it'll make you twirl!

Isn't that a good feeling?

Very sickening...

I like it...

I love it...

And I want more...

But really sad to say

I don't have anymore...

*composed on October 1995

ddktd to all my frenz that time. "MP" is short for "empi" which is the shortcut for Emperador Brandy. my friends and i used to drink these most of the time when we hang-out; also one of the faves is Gilbeys. we named our lil puppies according to these drinks: "MP" (the brown one) & "Gilbeys" (the white one)...

(more poems to come...)

To Mr. Right

2006-06-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

Ang tagal na kitang hinihintay

Bakit ang tagal mo naman..?

Ilan beses na kong nasaktan ah

Akala ko nga sila na

Yun pala hindi pa...

Kelan ka ba susulpot?

Pag puti na ang buhok ko?

Kapag uugod-ugod na tayo?

Kelan ba? Naiinip na ko..

Sangkaterbang luha na yata

ang naipon ko..

Baka pagdating mo,

pwede mo ng gamitin 'tong pang ligo..

Basag na basag na ang puso ko..

Baka kung kelan nandito ka na,

wala ng buhay toh..

Dadating ka ba o hindi na?

Sabihin mo na ng maaga..

San lupalop ka ba talaga?

Gusto mo ba ako na ang maghanap?

Mukang tinatamad ka lang ata

O di mo lang alam kung san mag uumpisa..?

Pakibilisan naman

Naiinip na ko sa paghihintay..

Kung sakaling magkita na tayo

Meron akong regalo sayo

Wag mong kakalimutang hingin toh..

Isang malakas na batok!

Sa sobrang kabagalan mo, hmph!..

*this poem is ddktd to sis INA, my sisters, all single RB Ladies and all my friends who are single! the story behind this poem is this: this afternoon, me & sis INA were chatting on msn when we suddenly came to this topic of "Mr. Right".. i dunno how we got there.. but while chatting on that, these words materialized in my mind, so fast that i need to type it at once on notepad.. i told sis ina that she gave me an idea & that i am composing a poem (or song?) already while chatting with her.. nywayz, that's how it goes. hope they like it =^_^=

June 16, 2006

** ahaha! okei! i'd just like to straight some things out. this poem is just for FUN! i just did this in a spur of the moment. i know ladies won't do this in real life, they'd rather be alone than to wait or look for the so-called right one. we don't even know if that "Mr. Right" really do exist! as they say, nobody's perfect! *grins* somebody must have just invented this word, not because they found the perfect or right man, but because that someone who is perfect for them (even with all the flaws) found them =)

if the poem offended anyone in some way, i am truly sorry... i won't take offense on any comments here, so no worries! =) i did the poem in a sarcastically-funny way to let you all know that this is only for laughs! so peace!!! mwaah!!! =^_^=

Recuperating Days (Health, Family, Love - Yr. 1994 Poems)

2006-06-15T19:42:00.000+08:00

i composed these poems when i was here in Brunei. i was 16 yrs. old that time.. i graduated highschool when i was 15 yrs old. my parents brought me here for 1 year vacation. my health is quite suffering that time so they asked me to rest first.

"D-I-A-R-Y"

D - d'best (coz it's always there for me);

I - impressive (coz it truly can keep a secret);

A - and above all of this, it is a

R - reliable friend, I had throughout the

Y - years...

*compose on July 10, 1994.

ddktd to my cousins & my diaries... based on my experience.

"Diary (There's No One In The World)"

There's no one in the world can compare,

To my one & beloved friend;

Who's always there to give a care,

And it will never be my fiend.

There's no one in the world could be

as trustworthy as my diary;

Who always stay here beside me

And keep my secrets faithfully.

There's no one in the world could give

Fun & help while I live.

There's no one in the world could be

as concern as my diary.

There's no one in the world could be

as understanding as my diary;

And the biggest advantage of it

It just listens & doesn't speak.

There's no one in the world could give justice

If I die without peace;

If there's no one there to stand for me,

It will be there to do justice.

And in the end when I am gone,

And if I die in peace...

All the secrets that i had keep,

Could only be revealed by my 'Diary'!

*composed on July 10, 1994.

ddktd to my sisters, cousins, friends and all those close to me.. they are my diaries. also of course, this is also ddktd to my Diary itself (those notebooks i wrote into and all my online-blogs)...

"My Love is Deaf, Mute and Blind"

My Love is...

Deaf...

when someone criticized him, or telling

me his faults & wrong attitude.
I've often found it difficult to believe,
so I will purposely ignore it.

Mute...

when he pass by, my heart stops cold,

feeling numb & can not even

utter a single sound or word.

Blind...

Whenever I see/finds something wrong

& not good about him..

I still cannot stop my love for him..

I've often found my eyes closed,

as if I'm afraid to find out

the truth & not seeing the reality of it all...

... for my love is deaf, mute & blind...

*this is the 2nd version of my poem "Love is deaf, mute & blind", revised on October 25, 2004.. i just modify some of the words here. this poem was loved by my cousins, aunt & friends. 3 of my guy friends in Pateros even memorized each stanza for each of them, and they called themselves "Deaf", "Mute" and "Blind".. from this, you would know already who memorized each of the stanza. they even recite the poem to me once, i was so flattered! until now.. Yr. 2006, i received a message from 1 of my aunt (who is 1 month & 1 wk older than me only), asking for a copy of this poem.

"If you ask me.."

If someone ask me, how do I describe myself

I'll probably answer "I am what I am".

If someone ask for deeper and new description,

I'll answer with glad..

"I am human & one of the most beautiful creation of God".

But if an artist ask me: "How do you describe yourself?"

I'll probably answer: "I am one of God's masterpieces.."

*composed on November 18, 1994

Age of Innocence (Crushes, Puppy Love, Friendship - Yr. 1992 Poems)

2006-06-15T18:54:00.000+08:00

i composed all these poems when i was almost 14. that's the time when i started composing/writing...

"A Friend"

I have a friend, no other than you
Who simply knew my joys & blues...
But thinking of you hurts me too,
For you were the one twice hurts me true!

The first one you've done
was like the second, too.
Revealing my secrets that I've told you...
Then, you asked for forgiveness,
And I forgave you;
Letting all the pains passed through.

But this time you've done it again
I don't know if I could still forgive you, my friend!
Though I can't blame you for doing that
coz there goes a saying about that "Love".

"Love unexpress is useless"

but if you overdo it,
is it none of my business?

Well yeah, I know, you say "Sorry",
but remember you've already done it.
What are the use now of those words
when you already broke the swore..?

So friend, I say, before you act
please, think first of my future "react"...

*ddktd to my friend when i was in highscool.

"Get it!?!"

Since the girl can't express her feelings,
she wrote a poem to make it easy.
To the boy she like, she dedicate it,
and gave it to him after she finished.

She saw the expression & puzzlement on his face,
and wondered if he gets the poem's message;
She saw the boy in deep thinking
"Maybe he get it", she keeps on saying...

After a minute, he returns the poem
He said: "I didn't get the message of your poem"
He adds: "Please explain the meaning of it"
She said: "But you're already acting it!"

"Hidden Love"

Once there was a girl who loves a boy,
But the boy doesn't know it;
He thought it was only a friendship,
That can't turn into such thing.

The girl hide her feelings for him,
but found out, it can only add to her misery;
So she decided to tell him what she felt,
But just blush when she saw his face.

Now she know she can't do it,
so she just keep it in her heart so deep.
Can you help this girl to express her feelings?
And remember, the name is M.J.C.

* haha! it's pretty obvious that this poem is based on my experience. i forgot who's the "boy" though... hmmm...

"My Love is Deaf, Mute & Blind"

Deaf...

.... when someone criticized you or telling your faults
and wrong attitude to me. I've often finds it difficult
to believe, so I will purposely ignore it.

Mute...

... when you passed by, my heart stops cold,
and I feel like a dumb. I found it hard to express the love I have
for you and can't even utter a single word or sound.

Blind...

... whenever I see or found something wrong about you
and still keep my love for you. I found my eyes closed as if
I'm afraid to see something bad about you & as if I'm blind from "Reality"...

... for my Love is... Deaf, Mute and Blind.

* this is the 1st version of my poem 'My Love is Deaf, Mute and Blind'...

"Love's Life"

Stranger...

You've been a stranger in my life
When you passed by, I don't care much
When we look at each other, we just smile
And after that, we just walk by...

Friend...

Accidentally, we met again
We talked, and then you called me "friend"
I knew right then our friendship starts;
We're always together & never been apart...

Bestfriend...

Long & happy years went by
Still you care for me so much
Then you said you love me so
And strange! I feel the same also...

Lovers...

We've been lovers for long, sweet years
And we're so happy; no fears and tears...
But then one day, you've been so cold
"Let's call it Quits!, to me you've told...

Enemies...

I hated you for what you've done
Coz you took my heart & now you're gone
"Another girl" is the reason why you left me
And now we treat each other as an enemy...

Stranger once more...

You'll be a stranger in my life once more
But it's not like the way before
For all I know, there'll be "no more"
Friends, Bestfriends & Lovers once more...

*this poem is based on my friend's experience when we were in highschool. i made this poem for her... also, on yr. 1995, my friends from Rizal loved this poem that much that they wanted to turn it into a song. they will just modify it a bit they said. unfortunately, before they can even start doing it.. something happened and they disbanded *sigh*

I Wanna Sleep...

2006-06-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

I wanna sleep through the haze of light...
I wanna sleep & keep my eyes shut tight...
I wanna shut down all the noise outside...
I wanna shut it til the morning light...

A furry company by my side...
to watch me til the sun rise...
I will go to that place I love...
And control them all with my mind...

I wanna sleep & go to that place
to find adventure & solace...
A place where reality ends...
A place without any demands...

My mind's hazy,
My breathing is deep,
Dozzing... Drifting...
in the midst of dream...
My body relaxed,
As I slip endlessly
Right into that valley of dreams...

*composed on July 05, 2002 (12nn - 12.30pm)

these words slipped slowly through my mind while I was at the office; feeling very bored and yeah, sleepy...

Stormy, Stormy Night

2006-06-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

The rain falls hard,
Down through the streets...
Washin' our window panes...
Supposed to be a time for celebration
but why's the heaven's so angry..?
Thunder bellows...
Lightning strucks...
The heaven's cryin'
but i dunno why...
What makes them grieve like this
up there from afar..?
Thunder rumbles...
Furiously & continously...
Lightning strikes
as if they want to hit on something...
I can almost feel its anger,
its grief and its tears...
If I could only do something
to relieve its misery...

*composed on December 05, 2002 (11.07pm)

these words strucks me when i was about to sleep one night... i'm quite scared of the lightning.. so i turn on the light; went to my table, and just wrote all these stuff to subsides my fear and while these words' still on my head...

Drifting Away

2006-06-15T18:25:00.000+08:00

So happy when they were together,
Til fate pulls them apart...
The love they shared together,
is now fadin' into the past...
Her eyes that used to twinkle,
is now shedding some crystal tears...
As he drifted away slowly,
& finds someone who's near...

*composed on September 21, 2002

these words just popped-out in my mind when i was inside the car. my father picked me up from work that time...

What Happens Next...

2006-06-15T18:18:00.000+08:00

Whatever happens next

I'll never know...

The feelings I tried to hide

Is yet to show...

Heartbroken & disgust

All wrapped in one...

The love I thought would last

is about to taunt...

Fromt the start, I should have known

I shouldn't trust

If this one didn't work

Another one..

Will be left behind

And bites the dust...

*composed on September 19, 2002

these words just materialized in my mind while i was eating lunch.

Sabi Ko Nga

2006-06-15T15:10:00.000+08:00

I

Nagsimula sa kras
Nauwi sa pag ibig
Puso kong dati'y nananahimik
Muling bumilis ang pintig...

Ayoko na sanang pansinin
At baka muli lang masaktan
Ngunit puso ko'y sadyang pasaway
Eto nga... nahulog na ng tuluyan...

** Sabi ko nga...Ayoko na...
Umibig pang muli...
Sabi ko nga...Sobra na...
Ang naranasan na sakit...

Ngunit bakit ngayon
Nandito ka
Bakit di ko mapigil?
Puso kong nananahimik
Binulabog mong muli...

II

Ganda na sana...Masaya na...
Nahanap ko na ang tunay na pag ibig
Pero bakit ganon?
Hanggang don lang pala
Ang kayang ialay sakin...

Kahit totoo ang nararamdaman
Di na pwede pang ipilit
Puso mong tunay man magmahal
Ay meron ng nagmamay ari

(Repeat *)

Hay...
sabi ko nga...

*composed last February 24, 2006
ddktd to someone special...